Lives: Amsterdam, the Netherlands
Club/team: NOWcc
Social: @mercatmiller
Welcome to CCC Introduces, our series of interviews spotlighting our diverse roster of contributors. Florida born and Amsterdam dwelling, Merida, is an advocate for inclusivity and equity in cycling, preferring to welcome others and banish exclusivity than focus on what's 'cool' or 'required' in cycling and we're hear for it.
Tell us about yourself.
Human centric designer.
Professional hype girl.
Bi, neurodivergent and all the other fun stuff that makes me spicy on gravel ;-)
Founder, CEO of Project Fearless.
All of the above.
I started cycling a little over 3 years ago and instantly fell in love, less than a year later I was leading the beginner rides from the same place I learned. I am now part of the board team of No Ordinary Women Cycling Club in Amsterdam where we lead weekly advance rides for women and non-binary riders and create events all over the Netherlands to grow our community of W & NB riders. And currently for a personal goal, I'm training for the 2025 UCI gravel series.
When off bike I'm the CEO & Program Designer at Project Fearless, which I founded 5 years ago. We create afterschool programs for girls and gender-fluid youth ages 9-14 in the Netherlands. Focusing on building confidence, resilience, and a growth mindset through programs like skateboarding, bouldering, art & activism. It’s a lot of fun.
What do you love about cycling
I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety since I was 18, and in 2021 I was in a really bad place. I was two years into running Project Fearless and had no work-life balance. Whoever said “Find what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Clearly had never “found what they loved”. I'd argue that if you are lucky to merge your passion and your career, you will end up working harder than you ever expected. Because it’s that much harder to turn off/ slow down. I was depressed, feeling lost, and exhausted with life.
That summer,Through a series of happenchance I found myself on a road bike for the first time.
Cycling ignited something in me that I had been searching for for so long. And internal peace. A month after my first ride I restarted antidepressants and two months later I bought my first road bike. My mental health isn't perfect and still something I work on every day but I do look at that summer as a hinge point for a better life.
Since then cycling has brought me into so many spaces and meeting so many incredible people.
It’s where I find my confidence when I'm feeling low and a tool to escape with. When I'm riding it’s one of the only times where my brain turns off and I can just be. I'm currently writing this during a week-long solo gravel trip and have been so grateful to be enjoying so much me and bike time. I never feel alone when Im with my bike.
What barriers have you faced in cycling
I can’t help but notice all the unnecessary noise that comes once you want become (or try to become) a cyclist. And as someone with a data processing disorder all these unwritten rules, gatekeeping, unsolicited "advice", the judging/the snubbing, and hierarchy of “experience” this noise can be detrimental to feeling welcome. There's been a couple times that I've let it clutter my brain and steal from the joy of what cycling should be, freedom. Now whenever I catch myself spiralling with thoughts of “am I good enough” “am I worthy of being here” “I'm stupid, I should know more” “they think I'm an idiot, what if I prove them right?” I have a mantra “Just ride the damn bike”.
In theory, we’ve all gravitated towards this sport because it brings us joy, so why do so many feel the need to make others feel they're not worthy of the same space?
I really admire communities and people who actively work towards a more inclusive and welcoming space for all riders- new, old, racers, weekend warriors, older bikes, obnoxiously colourful kit (guilty), old kit- you name it.
Which is why I loved coaching people new into cycling- along with the signals etc I tried to give them a crash course in all the “noise” they will also come across. And what to focus on instead. Helping them to build their confidence along the way.
Why were you interested in contributing?
“Cycling is a tapestry, we're the weavers.” I read this and thought “wow- YES!”
For my work at Project Fearless it’s based on creating spaces where girls and gender-fluid kids can come together and share experiences and build new ones together. A place where they can just be themselves and feel supported just as they are.
I felt the same about the mission of CCC, building a safe space for connection, celebration and centered around the one thing we all share a love for- bikes
Your fondest memory on the bike
The Rapha Women's 100 in Sept. 2022. The night before it was calling for rain and the coldest September day in history or something like that. As it was going to be my first 100km, I tried to back out the night before but my friend Lexi refused to let it happen and ran (literally) across town with a running pack full with an entire winter kit.
The next day it poured the entire 4hrs of the ride and was so cold, that when we finished I had turned purple (there is photo proof). But Im forever grateful for that ride. My friend Megan joined and we sang songs (like drowning cats), laughed, and just enjoyed the ridiculousness of it all- it was either that or feel miserable so we chose whatever the opposite of miserable is, delirious joy? Before the ride Megan and I were “acquaintances” but after our relationship had changed forever. Now she’s one of my closest friends and always up for that type 2 fun.
From: This one is a bit complicated and long-winded. I was born in Tampa Florida, but at the age of 10 we moved to Virginia, at 17 I moved to Georgia to go to fashion school, then started work in Maryland. And in 2017 I moved to Amsterdam, which is now home. My parents have lived in Mexico for the last 15 years, so I don’t have a “home” back in the US and the more I stay away the more I feel disconnected from the country. Amsterdam is truly the only place I've felt like “home”.
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